Curfews are widely used to monitor teens’ whereabouts and instill healthy boundaries. As a parent or caregiver, you put a curfew into place with the safety and overall well-being of your teenager in mind. However, your teen may react poorly to curfews, often arguing and displaying feelings of angst and frustration. They may even disregard their curfew, staying out either far too late or the entire night. The negative emotions evoked by requiring teens to be home at a certain time often leave parents wondering: Are teen curfews good for mental health? 

If your teen is struggling with their curfew, Beachside Teen Treatment Center can help. Call us at Beachside Teen Treatment Center today or visit our admission page for support and guidance.

Are Teen Curfews Good for Mental Health? 

Though curfews are put into place with good intentions, teenagers may see this time constraint as a way of controlling them and hindering their independence. This can negatively impact their mental health as they may become resentful and defiant. Including your teen in a discussion about setting a curfew can garner respect, improve family dynamics, and prevent outbursts. Talk to them about what they feel is the proper time to return home on weekends and school nights. Remind them that they need to keep balance in mind by leaving time for their nighttime routine, homework, and spending at least some quality time with their parents and siblings. This inclusive approach may make them feel more adult, and will hopefully result in them adhering to the curfew set in place.

Allowing your teen input on curfew rules does not mean you must bend to their every whim. Try to talk until both parties have reached a reasonable conclusion. It is also important to remember that every situation is different and that what curfew is appropriate for one teen may not be for another. 

Reasons Teens Stay Out Late

It is natural for parents to be concerned, even angry, when their teen stays out all night. Oftentimes, this keeps parents from sleeping or having time to decompress because they are so worried about their child. As a result, the situation is further exacerbated—leading to strife in their relationship with one another. Reasons teens may stay out all night include: 

• Resistance to authority
• Establishing independence
• Drug or alcohol use
• Influence from peers
• A romantic partnership
• Ineffective time management skills 

The intent behind why your child is staying out all night is important. For example, if they are purposefully acting out of defiance, then they may be showing signs of behavioral issues. Furthermore, if they are drinking or using drugs, they may be in need of substance use treatment. However, if they are struggling with managing time or getting caught up in a new relationship, a conversation about boundaries and better ways to allocate time may resolve the issue. 

How to Set a Curfew For Your Teen

There is no correct way to set a curfew as each family is unique, and each teen has specific needs and responsibilities. When considering are teen curfews good for mental health, it’s important to recognize that curfews provide structure, security, and a sense of responsibility, which can positively impact a teen’s well-being. Though a curfew can be associated with control, it is simply a reasonable way of setting a rule and outlining clear consequences for going against said rule. Curfews can also be adjusted if they are not working effectively. As aforementioned, it is a good idea to keep your teen included in the conversation. If either party is wanting to adjust the curfew rules, there should be clear reasons, and the rules should not be flip-flopped at the convenience of the parent or child. Constructive ways to instill a curfew are highlighted below.

Setting a Time

Take your child and family’s circumstances into consideration and decide what time you feel is most appropriate. This curfew can become later as your teen gets older and is showing they are capable of more responsibility. Younger teens can benefit from an earlier curfew as they still need an increased level of structure in their routine.

Outlining Clear Repercussions

As there should be with breaking any rule, disregarding curfew should have evident consequences. Your teen should understand and agree to these consequences prior to the curfew being put into effect. That way they are more likely to stay accountable and cannot argue that they were not aware of any negative ramifications. 

Establish Standards for Communication

As a parent, it is well within your rights to request reasonable communication from your teenager. Set the standard that they should tell you what they are doing, who they are with, where they will be, and how they will be getting there. They should also keep you updated if plans change. Additionally, you can promise to not pester them, but set the expectation that they should consistently answer your calls and texts. 

What is a Digital Curfew and is it Necessary? 

Curfews do not only have to pertain to physically leaving the house. Digital curfews—such as setting a time limit for screens—can encourage more restful sleep and an overall improved routine for teens. In fact, it can enhance the quality of life for all individuals. If a parent does set a digital curfew, it is best for all family members to adhere to it as a way of showing mutual respect. 

You can set a digital curfew by determining a time of night that the family should unplug from their devices. To make this easier, phones and other electronics could be charged in another room or away from the bed. Furthermore, digital curfews are beneficial at mealtimes or when encouraging the family to spend time outdoors.

How to Handle Your Teen Staying Out All Night

It is understandable to react with anger when your child returns home after curfew. Whether it is late at night or the next day, they have betrayed your trust and disregarded the boundaries you have put into place as a family. When considering are teen curfews good for mental health, it’s important to recognize that curfews provide structure and safety, but strict enforcement without understanding can increase stress and conflict. It can be difficult to resist the impulse to scold them or immediately enforce a harsh punishment. However, reacting on impulse typically escalates the situation. Below are some more mindful approaches to consider.

Ensure Their Safety

Check them for signs of physical, emotional, or mental distress. If they have any, discuss what happened and seek proper help.

Look for Signs of Substance Use

Check them for signs of substance use such as slurred speech, dilated pupils, glassy eyes, or a loss of motor control. If they are drunk or high, wait until they are sober to discuss consequences. 

Take Time to Calm Down

Reprimanding them while you are reactive or in the middle of the night before you are rested can be less effective. Take time to calm down before talking to them about repercussions. 

Ask for Details

Find out the circumstances surrounding their defiance. Listen empathetically to instill healthy communication. 

Make an Effort to Meet Their Peers

Friends and romantic partners are very important to teenagers. Try to connect with these individuals, so that they know you and respect you. This way, they are less likely to pressure your teen to disregard your rules.

Enforce Consequences

Prior to this situation, you have most likely established clear repercussions for breaking curfew. Unless there are extenuating circumstances, put these consequences into effect so that your teen understands that they cannot continue violating the boundaries you have set.

Get Professional Support

If your child is staying out late because of substance use issues, mental health challenges, or ongoing behavioral problems, it is important to seek proper intervention. Getting them the help they need can make a significant difference in how they act and feel. 

Find Mental Health Support for Teens in Malibu, CA

We know that you want the best for your teen and in no way want to interfere with their independence. Curfews are a healthy way of integrating freedom into your teen’s life without compromising their safety. However, we understand how frustrating it can be when your teenager continues to dismiss the rules you have put into effect.

Behavioral and mental health disorders play a pivotal role in how your teen thinks and behaves. If your child is struggling to comply with the boundaries you have put into place, it may be due to an underlying issue. Beachside Teen offers a wide range of resources, services, and programs to assist adolescents between 12 and 18. We work closely with teens and their families to find sustainable solutions that facilitate long-term success. To learn more about how we can help, give us a call or visit our admissions page today.